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Number of posts : 81
Age : 25
Registration date : 2008-04-12

PostSubject: Improvement feedback   Sun Aug 24, 2008 1:22 am

I just want all of your opinions on my RPs and I how I could still improve them, here's my last one...

The adventure...

The camera fades in to show Chris Peppers pacing in his locker room holding his phone. Suddenly the phone rings and Chris answers it.

Chris- Hello, hey guys, I didn't know if you guys found him or not! Good! I'll meet you in the parking lot.

Chris hangs up his phone and begins to walk out of his locker room towards the parking lot. As he's walking he turns to the camera and begins to speak.

Chris- Well, I guess now is a good time to talk about my match this week and the going-ons of D.U.W. First of all, my rematch this week. I personally know that Steve isn't going to expect an easy victory this week, after what happened last week, of course. I expect nothing but his A- game. So this week I am going to bring my absolute A+ game. I have broken the long, long losing streak and tonight on Danger, I will finally get rid of what I saw as my biggest problem, my former manager. Let's just say I have some really, uh, big and exciting plans...anyways, I don't think I'll have to worry about him anymore after Danger. Now the other thing I was wanting to talk about real quick is the fact that this rematch is going to take place. Drake Daniels organized and booked a rematch and I honestly don't know why! A lot of people asked why this rematch is happening and I can't tell them anything! But since Drake will be at ringside for the match I will show him what I can bring to the table and hopefully earn a title shot or at least a number one contender match, that's my best case scenerio. Other than that I don't know why he was so impressed, but we will find out shortly, I guess...

As Chris says these last words he walks to the entrance of the parking lot and walks into it. Chris stands there alone for a few minutes until a familiar red Hummer pulls into the lot. The entrance of the vehicle puts a big smile on Chris' face. The Hummer pulls into an empty space and Chris walks up to the door of it as it opens Chris' good friends Earl and Bert exit, with thier private dective badges around thier necks this time. Bert shakes Chris' hand and walks to the back door and opens it, revealing the pyschotic manager they had went looking for the week before sitting in handcuffs. Chris motions for Bert to close the door as Earl walks over to Chris and shakes his hand.

Chris- Guys, I cannot believe that you actually found this guy! I'm shocked! Man, that must have been some chase, huh?

Earl- I must say it was one of our toughest so far, mainly because of the strcict deadline. But we found him the night you sent us out and took him to the station to book him, we had to, but we were able to drop the charges to get him here, because I know you, and your revenge will be bad enough on the poor guy!

Bert- And man was it some hunt!

Chris- Came on guys, let me here the entire story and while we're taking him to my locker room.

Earl opens the door one more time and gets the manager out and starts to walk with Chris to his locker room, holding to back of the handcuffs.

Bert- Well, of course it all started when we left the arena last week. You didn't give us much information so we had to use our insticts. I started using my laptop to see if he had a hotel room or home in the area, while Earl drove. It said that he didn't have a room or a house in the county, so I checked the state records, he didn't have a house in the state!

Chris- So, what did you do?

Earl- What do you think? We headed off to a local bar, a personal favorite of mine, to be honest. But of course on business only, we only had a beer a piece and them talked to our street hook-up and he informed us that a strange man matching our guy's description had been in earlier, and had a lot of shots, the bartender said he had to cut him off! But we found out that had been a few hours ago and he had been drinking before he even came to the arena. So that was a big dead-end!

Bert- But we knew that we weren't gonna let you down! We got out of there and tryed to focus on the car, a 2002 green Jetta. I, of course, looked it up on my computer and Earl called the police to see if they had pulled anyone over in that car today. The police came up blank but I found out the car was a rental. And it hadn't been returned yet, so we headed towards the rental agency.

Chris- Man, this is turning into a movie!

Earl- When we arrived at the rental agency I walked in and asked who rented the car, and of course it was our guy, but he hadn't been by.

Bert- And he didn't have to return it until the next day. So I asked the question I should have asked when I first arrived there, does the car have a tracking device? And of course it did!

Chris- Well where was he hiding out?

Earl- Well, uh, in an obvious place.

Chris- Where?

Bert- We got back in our car and drove back to the arena and sitting by the parking lot entrance was the car, and he was in it! We arrested him there and you know the rest of the story!

Chris- What a waste of gas...

Earl- Yeah, we know...

The four men arrive at the locker room and take a seat inside.

Chris- That is some story, anyways thanks for helping me, maybe I can get you a contract here...

Earl- That's OK, we like our day job, but good luck in your match tonight!

Chris- Thanks, Drake is going to be watching...I'm gonna be very nervous! But I think I can win, well at least I hope...

Chris closes the locker room door as the camera fades out.
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